In the daylight I never pick up my phone, cause in the daylight everywhere feels like home

Oh lordy bee. Thoughts from this weekend past:

On Friday I had such a trauma I feel I may scarcely recover. I went to a seemingly innocent party at Mood inside Movida. It was traumatic for several reasons. Firstly, when I got there, my lovely friend Tijan gave me and my friend Nicki complimentary passes that someone had given her Nicki and I went up to the door and tired to give the passes to the door girl to which she replied, “WHERE did you get those?” and I said “Uh….my friend who is running the party downstairs….” and then she said, “Well the only 2 people who give those out are me and my colleague and I did NOT give them to YOU”. After which she snatched the passes from my hand. There is no need to tell you, dear reader, that I was SHOCKED and APPALLED. Had it not been for my dear friend Alicia who was already inside, I would have spun round on my boot heel and never laid eyes on the place again. But I hadn’t seen her in months, so I scurried round to the other side and worked my magical charm on the other bouncer and made my way inside. Once there I was so not impressed. These are the people they let in with their “strict door policy”. what. ever. and the drinks were atrociously expensive. And to top it all off, my fucking WALLET gets stolen. Out of my purse. Which I never put down. So I had to survive from the end of Friday night to the start of Thursday morning on 20 quid until my bank card came. Which is NOTHING in case you were wondering. I’m very proud that I was able to do it.

On Saturday: I was very unproductive all day, except managing to eat brunch with Nicki. Then, I went to a gig at the Macbeth to see Micachu and the Shapes with my friends Becky and Erin. I suggested we walk there because, remember, I was running low on cizzash. Not the best of ideas in the dark with only a vague idea of where we were trying to head. We ended up walking through the estates of Hackney, which, despite my romantic visions of urban grit, was a little bit fucking scary. But we finally made it to there. I quite like the Macbeth with its medieval theme and Christmas lights all over the place. The band was good, my opinion was probably influenced by the water bottle full of whiskey I brought with me. My friend Tracy met up with me there and we headed back to Islington to go to Feeling Gloomy’s PULP themed night, which I had been looking forward to all week. Basically the music they played made me jizz my pants every time they changed the song. “Razzmatazz”, “This Charming Man”, “Animal NItrate”, “First of the Gang to Die” among many others. Like….God was making up for all those painful nights I had to sit through endless playing of “Sexy Back” and “Umbrella”. Fuck me. There was an abundance of ugly/awk guys and gals in the audience but I managed to find at least one cute one if I remember correctly.

Other wildly insightful observations and discoveries I’ve made this week:
1. I like, but do not understand the brit’s compulsion to end every text and facebook wall post with some version of “xx”. But not just as in the firs or last message the send you, but like at the end of EVERY message. like “Where are you? x” “Oh I’m here x” “well what time will you b here?x” its complete madness. and of course I feel it necessary to respond in the same way. But I enjoy it I’ve decided. Its like I get a little cuddle at the end of every piece of electronic communication.

2. I’ve met/see Jack Penate in person probably 5 or 6 times. He is wearing the same shirt every single time. Either that shirt is really dirty, or he has a closet full of them. Like Rocko’s Modern Life.

3. I’ve heard some new tracks off the Horrors album at the XL offices and they are fucking amazing. Super different than their last album, and much more accessible, but not in a bad way at all.

4. I finally saw a few clips from Summer Heights High thanks to mai Jah-Mez. its delightfully inaprope. observe:

5. Always expanding my mind, I watched a documentary on Objectum Sexuals, which is as weird as its sounds. Its basically about these 2 women who are in love with objects. Namely, the Eiffel Tower and an amusement park ride called 1,001 Nachts. yeah. One of them actually changed their name to Erica La Tour Eiffel. But….she goes by Nisho. uh huh. I felt slightly nauseated through the whole thing, but I couldn’t stop watching. Here it is for YOUR viewing pleasure:
Part 1

Watch Married To The Eiffel Tower [Part 1]  |  View More Free Videos Online at

Part 2

Watch Married To The Eiffel Tower [Part 2]  |  View More Free Videos Online at

6. I’m not one for viral videos but THIS is hilarious


That is All. Ever faithfully Yours,

Dame Samantha.


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